Good Evening friends of the Show and Tell blog. Today is Sunday, May 20th ......
I trust you have had an OK week. Mine of course is one that I sure wish we would not have had to have however as one of my nephews put it on his Facebook wall…”I am blessed with a great family”. I quickly commented on his note as I agree. Here are the Hayes cousins, well cousin Stephen could not make it due to scheduling conflicts so minus one, but new cousin Kenneth (Britt's husband) is now part of the clan so plus one.
Before I get to a summary of the week (and there is a lot to share with you) I need to clarify / retract / re-state my comment made on May 10th when I told you this would be the last entry. I have heard from a lot of you on that subject so here is the new plan.
First of all, I have been blessed and found comfort quite a bit this last week by going back and reading some early entries of the blog. Janelle’s first entry was on April 9th, 2009….she just basically introduced herself to you. Sweet! You may enjoy doing that as well.
I have no plan to end the Show And Tell blog. Thus, for months to come, whether there is a lot of activity or not, it will be available for you to enjoy. If I ever get to the point where I decide to officially end it, I will make sure you are notified via a post well in advance. On that subject, if you have this blog setup such that you get notified when there is an update (there is a way to do that, I am just not sure how) please do not remove that notification.
For sure, every blog entry that My Janelle has made is being electronically captured for future use. I have no idea exactly what that will mean however and I think you will agree, her thoughts and insights are golden. My daughter Britt (perhaps you have heard of her via the blog) has her mother’s creative genes. I envision something very cool down the road. Perhaps a book to encourage people?
So, Show And Tell will be here for your enjoyment as long as you want it to be. It is possible that there will still be regular Sunday night updates for a while, just so you can know how we are doing. My original statement was meant to suggest that perhaps there will not be a “every” week update. We just need to see how all of that goes. If there are no entries for a period of time and you want to know what is up with the Hayes Family, you can always email me and you will get a response back within a day (khayes1032@aol.com).
OK, now on with my purpose of today’s entry. My theme this last week (and for weeks to come) is making sure that everything we did (and do) was very Honoring to My Janelle. I am very sad and I am grieving but Honor we did. I am confident that she is pleased….well she may not be pleased with me because she never liked to be made the center of attention.
The services included a visitation on Monday evening May 14th at Sharon Baptist Church which is where Janelle worked for the last 17 years, Burial at Forest Lawn East Cemetery on Tuesday Morning (May 15th) and a Celebration Service at our church, Steele Creek Church of Charlotte on Tuesday evening. Next week, I will be providing you links to many pictures that were taken as well as a video of the celebration service.
Visitation was beautiful. I wanted to be respectful to everybody in terms of viewing Janelle's body so while the body was in the sanctuary where we greeted friends, I had it facing the front so people did not have to view her body if they did not want to. I spent about 40 minutes alone, just me and My Janelle before the family arrived. She looked beautiful and very much at peace. I will keep that memory in my heart forever.
Burial was at a very nice place, out in the country. I can't do justice to what a great place this is for My Janelle to be laid to rest. Pretty much out in the woods, very quiet, a great place that I will visit very often and just reflect on the 31+ great years I had with her.
The Celebration service was also awesome and very honoring to her. I opened the service as I wanted to personally welcome and thank everybody for everything they have done for us over these last nine months. We had Praise and Worship. One of her closest friends who was extremely helpful to me by being at our house when I had to run errands spoke. My three sisters also spoke of their 4th sister. Britt spoke about what her Mother was all about. My two pastors (Sharon Baptist / Steele Creek) each provided a message. We closed it with my brother-in-law singing a stunning rendition of How Great Thou Art / Be Exalted. I was very pleased, we honored this woman of God immensely.
Next week, I will provide you a lot of things...video tribute, pictures of all three services and a complete video of the memorial service. If you have been following our journey, these will be very special to you.
Here is the piece we put together for the visitation....
SHOW.....
TELL....
I kind of came up with the words I wanted to include, turned it over to Britt. She added, cleaned up my random thoughts and then did her creative magic.. Here is the file....if you print this, both sides you get three for the price of one.
We also provide a program for the Celebration Service. Here is that file...
A theme that I wanted to use was from her August 7th post. This was her first post after we got the news of her disease where she provided scripture. Psalm 29:11 is now my life verse.
"The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace." Psalm 29:11 (NLT)
It will be used in some fashion on our grave marker in the next few months. We also had an edited version of this post on display during the services. Here is the file for that....
Thursday the last of my family departed. It has been a bit lonely around here, just Roxie (the dog) and me. We are doing OK. Very sad, definitely grieving, tears come many times during the day. What keeps me sustained is knowing without a doubt that My Janelle is alive and sitting at Jesus's feet. No doubt at all in my mind, 100% confident that she is fine and that I will see her again.
Friday I visited our resting place. The picture on the left is facing the bench I had planned for as I expect to be a frequent visitor. The picture on the right is looking the other way. You may notice a small Orange wristband in the flowers. My brother-in-law visited the grave before leaving town and left this. It says "Get Your Head In The Game". This is the Brain Tumor Awareness organization that promotes research and hopefully a cure some day so others do not have to travel down the path we have been on.
Today, I went to church. Was not sure if I would really go until I got there however I know that whether it was today or next week or next month, it was going to be a bit emotional. It was, but I got through it.
Again as far as the future, you will definitely hear from me next Sunday, you will have the opportunity to see how we honored My Janelle. After that, it may not be every week but I am kind of thinking that re-posting some of Janelle's posts and providing some Ken commentary may be a great way to extend this journey.
I look forward to continuing our online relationship as we move forward. If you want to communicate with me outside of this blog, below is my email address and my facebook address....
Ken
email - khayes1032@aol.com
facebook - khayes@carolina.rr.com
You, your friends, family and your Janelle remain in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad to hear that you will still be posting periodically as you have acquired quite a nack for blogging.
Posted by: Katherine | 05/20/2012 at 06:59 PM
Ken, I am so glad you have chosen to keep Janelle and you with us a while longer through this site. I have never met you or Janelle, do not know you. But I feel so close to you both I can't explain it. Janelle, in her journey, touched me in ways I wouldn't have thought possible. And you, continuing Janelle's voice, are filling a void I'm not ready to feel right yet. Thank you. I got to know Janelle through her blog, long before she got sick, and her words always touched me. I pray for her and think of her often. I admire you, and am so thankful to you, for continuing in her footsteps. Thank you for your post tonight, and I look forward to your next. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Posted by: Sue | 05/20/2012 at 07:01 PM
Thank you for keeping the blog going. I look forward to keeping up with you and glancing back as you repost Janelle's entries. Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers as you find the new normal ~ if there is such a thing. I know you miss her terribly but how beautiful is the love of God that keeps us and assures us we will see our loved ones again!
Take care!
Cindy K
Posted by: Cindy K | 05/20/2012 at 07:02 PM
Dear Ken
I have been thinking about you guys all week. I thought the grave side service was beautiful, and you are right that it is beautiful out there, my grandparents are actually across from where you guys are and it is a beautiful place, very peaceful and soothing. Much love to you all!
Posted by: Angie Haynie | 05/20/2012 at 07:30 PM
Ken, I am so happy that you have decided against ending Janelle's blog. I've had time to go back and read more of her posts and her faith has been an inspiration to me as I am sure it will be an inspiration to all who read it. I am sure God will use her words to help someone else one day.
Posted by: Linda | 05/20/2012 at 07:45 PM
Ken, am sooooo glad you will continue the blog. You do a pretty good blog yourself! Am also glad you are thinking of a possible book. When you originally said you will stop the blog, I was sadden, just because Janelle did such an awesome job on it, and I know what an inspiration she was. A book could be a really great way to share what Janelle had to offer. Am continuing to hold you and your family in prayer. Your loss is so great.
Posted by: Patty Smith | 05/20/2012 at 08:15 PM
oh, Ken, you have honoured her indeed. I too have been looking at past posts...especially the one with the music sheet paper 2 years ago...that's what started our friendship online :) I always loved the way she "showed" and "told" us about her cards and projects...a unique way to post :) You are all in my prayers and I look forward to hearing how everything is going when you want to tell us :)
Posted by: Maureen | 05/20/2012 at 09:06 PM
Ken I too have been going through her blog by category and I was amazed at how much she participated in my neighborhood surrounding the school-Olde Georgetowne and Sharon Acres. She (Yall) attended Tyler Treehouse races and swim meets at the pool. I have enjoyed seeing the places yall have traveled to. And of course pay more attention now than ever to what inspired her and kept her going. Good to hear from you and I will check in on you soon, Marguerite
Posted by: Marguerite Fourqurean | 05/20/2012 at 09:15 PM
Ken,
I've printed out the program from the services. Thank you so much for providing that. It was very creative to use the Show and Tell theme at the visitation.
Janelle's blog has made a difference and I am glad that it won't be taken down--I will be going back to some of her posts, and I look forward to your new posts as they come.
Blessings to you as you grieve your beautiful Janelle. Hugs.
Posted by: Brenda R | 05/20/2012 at 09:44 PM
I and many others are grateful that you decided to keep the blog going. The idea of possibly putting it all together in a book is outstanding and would be such an inspiration to others in similar circumstances. What a legacy that would be for Janelle! How wonderful it would be to share her faith and creativity beyond her blog. Still praying for you and your family every day. :^)
Posted by: Kelley Smith | 05/20/2012 at 09:51 PM
What a wonderful idea to use Janelle's own words on the programs and poster. I remember reading that post last year and being completely blown away by her strength and faith.
I'm sure it is a relief to have this week behind you, but also difficult to have family gone back to their homes. I'm glad you have your dog. Keeping you in prayer as you grieve.
Posted by: Laura | 05/20/2012 at 10:23 PM
Thank you Ken, for helping to keep Janelle alive in our hearts. It is a wonderful gift from you that I will cherish. My continued prayers on your behalf. Blessings!
Posted by: Armando Cortez | 05/20/2012 at 10:49 PM
Ken, thank you for sharing so much with all of us. I was not looking forward to reading the last post of Show & Tell. It is my hope that by you continuing with Janelle’s blog it will in some way help you. You and your family have been on my mind so much this week, as I know how hard this is. I think Janelle is still smiling that beautiful smile at you ,for all you have done. I am so happy this is not the last post, a bit selfish on my part. Take care and your all still in my prayers. I have a large family and you have been in all their prayers.
Posted by: marybethL. | 05/20/2012 at 11:01 PM
Ken, THANK YOU so much for keeping Janelle's blog going!!! To share with us, your personal life and thoughts, it just brings tears to my eyes. Your also doing the Lords work, I think that is the reason I started reading Janelle's blog over a year ago. Not only were the crafts and food fabulous but I enjoyed her messages. She reached out to us and I will forever be grateful!! Thank you so much, your amazing!!!
Posted by: Janet Brattin | 05/20/2012 at 11:30 PM
Britt has Janelle's smile, just gorgeous!!!!
Posted by: Janet Brattin | 05/20/2012 at 11:35 PM
She was one AMAZING woman. Even before the tumor arrived and she valiantly fought on. I'm very glad you are leaving her blog open for the time being. I miss her very much. I think you ought to make a book from Janelle's blog for future grandchildren. They need to know what a wonderful, caring, humorous, BRAVE, Christian woman she was. I think about you and your family every day. And Janelle's Mom, too. It will be lonely without her. Remember that Hospice provides bereavement support - take care of yourself. Prayers for all of you. Thank you so much for this posting. Hugs. Sue
Posted by: SueB | 05/20/2012 at 11:59 PM
I look forward to continuing to read the blogs. Praying for you. Linda
Posted by: Linda Rhyne | 05/21/2012 at 12:31 AM
Awesome post. Thank you so much for "including" us her cyber peeps. What a wonderful and honoring post this is. Services and programs are just lovely.
What an amazing women and your family is pretty special too. Thanks again.
Posted by: Ginna G | 05/21/2012 at 12:33 AM
Hi Ken,
I never met Janelle, but found her blog thru another I read that linked me to her. I found we had many things in common or close to similar. My parents live just down the road in Columbia, SC. I live in Atlanta. My oldest son moved to Oregon a year after he married and has a great business out there. I just loved this blog and keep it on my tool bar. She & I emailed back and forth a few times. I loved hearing about the preschool and her crafting. Maybe Britt can take over this blog one day and share some of her talent. Then her work can be showcased along with her mom's! Looking forward to hearing more from you. I may email one day for some of Janelle's favorite places around Charlotte. I would love to bring my mom up for a good bite to eat!!!
Posted by: DWD | 05/21/2012 at 12:48 AM
Oh Ken, what a beautiful celebration of Janelle's life.You honored that woman so greatly. You ll never know how much your decision to keep up with the blog and provide us with details from last week mean to me. This last week Janelle has been on my mind 24/7, no matter what i did or where i was.
You are an amazing man and it is an honor for all of us to be your cyber friends, just like it was with your wife.
Praying for you to be strong
Posted by: eleftheria | 05/21/2012 at 01:21 AM
Ken, I'm so glad you're reconsidered and decided to continue Janelle's blog. You've done it so eloquently, and she would be so proud. After all, this is the only way so many of us know you as never met in person. What a beautiful tribute to Janelle's wonderful life she enjoyed until the big C won the battle she fought so hard to win! Will continue to pray for you and Janelle's surviving family as I know you will have many difficult days, weeks and even months ahead. Looking forward to future posts whenever you feel the time is right. God Bless!
Posted by: Kathy Mc | 05/21/2012 at 01:29 AM
Ken, oh how you honored your beautiful Janelle. I adore how you shared her posts in the programs. A true gift to all of us. I'm sure Janelle has a huge smile on her face. May God continue to provide blessings to you and your family. Looking forward to continuing to hear from you as you feel appropriate. xx
Posted by: Lynn | 05/21/2012 at 05:50 AM
Thank you for sharing so much with us, Ken. Hugs.
Posted by: June K. | 05/21/2012 at 07:15 AM
Ken,
My heart aches for you. I can only imagine what you are experiencing. However, I know from my own experiences with heartache, that God is the only way to get through. I am thankful that you have Him by your side to help you through this time. I am sorry I wasn't able to make it to the service or visitation but was there in my heart. The boys and I leave for Alabama June 8th and begin a new phase of our journey. It is becoming increasingly apparant that we will not return. My heart is broken, but I too have God by my side. I am so privileged to have known both you and Janelle. I will treasure many memories of the both of you!
Kim
Psalm 3
Posted by: Kim Bartley | 05/21/2012 at 08:38 AM
Thank you, Ken. I love the ending of the poster... "And hope to see you again tomorrow!" I'm sure that is Janelle's continuing prayer for each and every one of those she touched with her life... that we would meet her "tomorrow" around the feet of our Saviour.
Blessings and Hugs...
Tricia
Posted by: Tricia T | 05/21/2012 at 08:52 AM