Show and Tell

Love Lives Here

Today is Saturday, November 12. And, oh, wow! I just noticed that it's already 4:30 and I'm just now starting on today's post. Sigh. Late again.

I spent the morning trying to figure out my projects for stamp club. The December meeting is our annual Christmas party and recipe swap, so I was trying to put together my ideas for that... plus, I didn't complete a project for November or for October, so I'm behind! I'd like to get caught up, so that'll be my task for the next few days or so. Fortunately, I guess, I have quite a few cards in the queue ready to share with you so if I take a week or more to get these cards for stamp club done you won't have to "suffer". (haha!)

In the early afternoon, we attended the wedding of our pastor's daughter.

 It was such a pretty and God-honoring ceremony.

They did one thing that I don't recall seeing before. There were three vessels of different colored sand. They poured the white sand into a larger container, signifying the Holy Spirit as the foundation of their marriage, and then added two other colors of sand (I think red and blue) simultaneously so they blended together a bit and that represented each of them and their oneness with each other. Being a visual person, I appreciate graphic representations of big concepts. :)

 I thought they used the video screen in our sanctuary quite well. The sanctuary is so big with such a high ceiling that it kind of brought the whole thing down to a cozy level.

Obviously, the bride was so radiant that I couldn't get a good picture of her. :) Congratulations, Kelsey and Jordan!

 

Since I'm running so late, I contemplated not putting any scripture in today's post... but that just seems wrong, so here it is.

Hebrews 11:6 

"...it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him."

I can't imagine what it must be like to go through life without believing in God. How hopeless things must seem without a firm foundation of faith. For me, the peace I receive from knowing the Lord is more than enough to get me through each and every day. I pray that you have that same experience. Remember, He rewards those who earnestly seek Him! 

 

I mentioned earlier that our pastor's daughter got married today. Here is the card I made for the happy couple. 

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Funny how things look so good until I photograph them and see them on the screen. Now that I look at this card, it appears that the house is slightly crooked. Oh, well. It's still handmade with love specifically for Kelsey and Jordan and I hope that counts for something. :) 

AND TELL:  stamps are from Papertrey Ink (Love Lives Here); cardstock is from PTI (Stampers Select White); ink is Stampin' Up (Soft Sky, Crumb Cake, Blushing Bride, Pear Pizzazz, Almost Amethyst, Chocolate Chip); die from PTI's Love Lives Here set.

We have a bit of excitement planned for tomorrow. If all is going well in the morning, we're planning to head uptown after church and attend our first Panthers game of the year. We've given our tickets away for every other game, but I've been feeling so well this week that it seems like a good time to give a game a try. I, of course, will let you know how it goes.  

Well, it's time to get started on other stuff now. The DVR list is begging to be attended to. :) Thank you so much for stopping by for a visit. I'll look forward to visiting with you more tomorrow. Love and hugs to you! 

The Armor of God

Today is Wednesday, September 7. I have an appointment with my oncologist today — the first since treatment began. And only my second altogether. I think that's causing me some in-the-back-of-my-head anxiety because I've felt rather out of sorts and unfocused this morning. Not horribly bad... but for me — who just does not worry about stuff — it's a little troubling. I think I'll take a nap. That's how I have always dealt with unpleasantness. Usually works for me. :)

So — here is some scripture for today... taken from the Psalms.

Psalm 51:1, 8, 10-13, 15-17

"Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.... Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me — now let me rejoice.... Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels and they will return to you.... Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you. You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." 

Well, I don't know how I could need God's mercy more than right at this moment. Nothing like being laid bare and totally weak, is there?

The above was written before I went to my oncologist and radiology appointments today... and I'll get more into that later, but now I am at a point where it is easier to have the joy of the Lord's salvation. When I started this post, I was struggling quite a bit to stay positive and upbeat. I mean, we all know that life isn't all bubblegum and roses. Sometimes it is just downright unpleasant. But, you know... today I was making it that way for myself. I was letting things into my head that are not of the Lord... doubt... fear... anxiety... stuff like that. I read my Bible. I started my blog post. I turned on my praise and worship music. I closed my eyes to take a nap. I had a snack. (OK... I had about 4...) Nothing really worked. And that troubles me a bit. Because I like to think that I'm "better" than that. (Sounds prideful, doesn't it? That's because it is.) Being humbled can be a good thing. And being reminded that you need the Lord (no matter how "good" of a Christian you are) is definitely a good thing. Now — I'm not fully convinced that next time I'm faced with an anxiety-filled situation that I'll be all calm, cool, collected, and spiritual — but hopefully I'll prep myself more in the days leading up to it. Targeted prayers would probably be a good idea. And, I hate to admit it, but my prayer life — while it probably seems pretty great and solid to you — is not to the level it has been in the past. Definitely time to change that! Because... I don't want a repeat of this kind of anxiety-filled morning. God wants me to be filled with peace so that I can exude peace and comfort to those I come into contact with. (By the way, he wants you to be filled with peace so you can do the same for those you know, too.) Hopefully I'll have the discipline to make the changes necessary. You can pray for that. :)

And, the Lord has been so good to us! After me eating my way through the house and being probably not very nice to Ken for the whole morning, we went to the oncologist, lunch at Dean & Deluca (and frozen yogurt at Pinkberry :) ), and then the radiologist. All my blood counts look good to the doctors — appropriate for a chemo patient anyway. The swelling that I'm having in my legs and elsewhere they said is due to the high dose of steroids that they put me on when I went loopy a couple weekends ago. Now they're going to start slowly backing me down on the steroids. Hopefully that'll go well (you can add it to your prayer list, too :) ). So — the day that started out with me going (quietly) bonkers, has turned into a good day after all. So God-like. Why do I not trust more at the beginning? Crazy. (And thanks so much for your prayers and support!)

 

Let's get into today's craft. It should go into the better-late-than-never category (if I had a category like that, anyway). This scripture tag book was supposed to be given a page at a time to the weekday school staff members who attended the monthly prayer breakfast during the last school year. Well, they never got a single page — but now I've made 12 complete booklets so twelve of the staff who attended will have a reminder to wear their armor on a daily (well... hourly... moment-by-moment!) basis. (I think I should've thought about my armor earlier today!)

(By the way — if you like wedding pictures or are a personal friend or are just the curious sort... you'll want to scroll down past all this craft stuff...) 

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Here are the nine pages...

one...

I wanted you to see the the back of the page more clearly. I stamped lines on the back of each page. The idea was that the teachers could take notes on each verse as we discussed it in prayer breakfast. But... now they can just write down some of their impressions as they read through each verse. (These photos will get a little bigger if you click on them...)

 

That was page 2 up there... 

and here's page 3...

page 4...

page 5...

page 6...

page 7...

page 8...

and page 9...

And here they are all packed up and ready to take to school...

My original plan had an attractive cover, a title... all that stuff. But sometimes plans change and this one went down to the basics. Of course no one probably would have even thought of that if I weren't such a blabber mouth. :)

AND TELL:  stamp is from Papertrey Ink (Journaling Lines); cardstock is PTI (Kraft, Vintage Cream, Rustic White) and Stampin' Up (Baja Breeze, Mellow Moss); ink is SU (Early Espresso) and PTI (Tea Dye Duo); ribbon is SU seam binding (Rose Red, Baja Breeze) and PTI satin (Fine Linen); baker's twine is Divine Twine (Aqua, Lemon); also used maps from a vintage atlas, a Cricut cartridge, and DMC embroidery floss #761.

Hopefully this little booklet will be a good reminder to those who receive it — your armor is essential to your defense. Wear it!

And here's what the little teaser above was about...

the blog post from the photographer of Britt & Kenneth's wedding (click on the colored words above). Such a sweet little write-up and some awesome photos of the day. I don't think you'll be disappointed. I know we weren't! :) (Thanks so much, Abigail! And Traci, too!)

Well, if you're still hanging in there with me, you've probably spent enough of your time here. But I really, really appreciate your interest, your prayers, and your love! Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope the rest of your day is all bubblegum and roses. :) (That is... if you like bubblegum like I do... otherwise maybe it could be sunshine and roses... :) ) Hugs to you!!

 

thank you for your kindness

Today is Friday. August 19. And I'm tired. I slept really, really well last night — I don't think I woke up at all from about 10:30 until 5-ish. And that's pretty good. But now it's 7:15 a.m. and I'm feeling exhausted. I think that Roxy the dog will be sharing the couch with me in a little bit. :)

How about some of this morning's scripture reading?

Psalm 36:5-10

"Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths. You care for people and animals alike, O Lord. How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings. You feed them from the abundance of your own home, letting them drink from your river of delights. For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see.

"Pour out your unfailing love on those who love you; give justice to those with honest hearts."

And, sorry, but I have no special insights from me today. Just letting the love of God wash over me as I mentally grapple with this situation. Well, mentally grapple is way too strong an imagery for my thought processes. Actually, I don't know if my mind is capable of grappling with anything right now. So — I guess I'm just trying to let God's unfailing love permeate my thoughts and "feelings". Because no matter what the situation is, His love never changes and it never, ever fails.

I almost forgot... here are a couple more songs for today: 

Download 06 In Christ Alone

Download 13 Because of Who You Are (Remix)

Hope you enjoy and let them wash over your soul. :)

 

 

Moving on... 

I've always been pretty good at making cards — but not so good at sending them. Pretty ashamed to admit that. Especially after receiving so many cards, handmade or not, that have truly lifted my spirits and comforted my family. How selfish that I have denied that blessing to others! 

Well, I thought I'd try to remedy that — but I guess once bad at mailing cards, always bad at mailing cards. (So please don't be holding your breath for yours to arrive in the mail... instead know that I love you and am thinking of you, but probably don't have the energy right now to write a card to you... sorry...) However, I have sporadically written a card here and there over the last couple weeks — and this one is right now winging its way to the Quilt Ministry of Gladeville Baptist Church in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee... my blog friend Kelley's church that sent a beautiful handmade quilt. 

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I don't know that I can adequately express how it feels to receive mail of any variety in a situation like this. Every card and every note is like a huge hug and a salve for my heart — and for those who love me, too. So — if you are a cardmaker or just a card-sender, keep it up (I'm not talking about sending me cards... I mean keep sending them out to others). It has just such a huge impact. And if you are kinda like me and think... oh, that would be nice... I'll do that later... I don't know what to say... I don't have time to sit down and do that right now... or whatever your excuse is (those are some of mine)... set the excuses aside and just take action. You don't have to be eloquent... you don't have to "say the right thing"... just taking the time to say I'm thinking of you or I'm praying for you and then actually putting on a stamp and mailing the thing (or walking it to your neighbor's mailbox)... that means the world to someone else. There is no perfect at times like this — just faithful action. (Go do it!)

AND TELL:  stamps are from Stampin' Up (Array of Sunshine) and Papertrey Ink (Iconic Images); cardstock is PTI (Vintage Cream); patterned paper is PTI (Bitty Box Basics) and Bo Bunny (?); ink is SU (Old Olive, Pear Pizzazz, Rich Razzleberry, Pumpkin Pie, Daffodil Delight); also used items from my stash (purple button, self-adhesive pearls, and a ribbon scrap).

Here are a couple more pictures of wedding related things. Remember that I showed you photos of how Kenneth's family had gussied up the restrooms at the reception site? At the time, I didn't have photos of the doors — and you really need to see this. (Thanks, Ruth, for sharing your photos with me!)

That is Britt...

and this one is Kenneth. Britt cut silhouettes of each of them to be framed for the restroom doors. What a great personal touch, don't you think? (And, they actually look like them, too!)

She also had a poster created to act as a guest registry —

I think the plan is to have it framed to hang in their new home.

Love those fun, personal touches that couples put into their weddings these days!

OK — now some brutally honest talk. Really — I'm one to brush things under the rug... and though it might seem as though I'm an out-going talk-about-anything kind of person, I'm really quite quiet and reserved in real-life. But, I want you to know what I've been telling my family today. Because you're kind of like an extended part of my family and you've been with me since this all began and I have so appreciated your love and support. 

Today I'm feeling weaker, probably in every way. And extremely tired. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I may have the energy to post tomorrow, or I may not. But — I have invited my mom to come back to be here with us and I've told my kids and Ken how I'm feeling. This is new territory for me so I can only go with my gut. And my gut says that people who love me need to be with me so, while I might prefer to be alone, I need to let those other people in. Really, very little — if any — of this is all about me. It has to be about God being glorified and His name being lifted up. He does not change — no matter how our circumstances change. Don't forget that!!! 

And — maybe I'll be back here tomorrow with something crafty. Or maybe someone in my family will hop on. I don't know. Just wanted to make sure that you know how much this relationship has meant to me and, while I'd like it to continue (and it may), I didn't want to go away without saying good-bye. Hope I'm not being melodramatic. :) And, maybe I'm not going away at all — I've never walked this road before so I'm not exactly sure what is happening. I hope to be here posting tomorrow... and the next day... and the next... And — I promise that if I am, I won't keep "saying good-bye". That would be ridiculous. :)

So — now that all that is out of the way (and I've given you another post that is probably way too long!), thanks for stopping for a little visit. You all are the best! Hugs to you! (And — probably I'm just being a little crazy so I'll "see" you tomorrow. Because, just so you know, giving up is not in my nature!)

Pink Doily Thanks

It's Thursday, August 18. 

Much better night of sleep last night. And that was very welcome.

My biggest frustration is that we have done nothing regarding treatment — and this is not getting better, of course. The numbness spreads — along with a bit of a feeling of dread at times. And my oncologist and my nurse each have vacations scheduled with their families for next week. Vacations that I'm sure they need desperately. So — I'm a little unsettled. Please pray against that feeling of dread. I know that the Lord doesn't want me to slip into that bad mental place. 

Some scripture for today:

Psalm 35:17-18, 22-23, 27b

"How long, O Lord, will you look on and do nothing? Rescue me from their fierce attacks. Protect my life from these lions! Then I will thank you in front of the great assembly. I will praise you before all the people....

"O Lord, you know all about this. Do not stay silent. Do not abandon me now, O Lord. Wake up! Rise to my defense! Take up my case, my God and my Lord....

"...'Great is the Lord, who delights his servant with peace!'..."

How could someone not notice or love how the Lord sends just the right words for each and every day?!? This "just happened" to be part of the Psalm in my Change Your Life Daily Bible for today. (If you know me, you know I don't believe in coincidences or that things "just happen"... :) ) So — I encourage you to read your Bible daily, too. You'll be amazed at how it dovetails with just what is going on in your life!

And — maybe a couple more songs would be good to include here:

 

Download 07 Stronger

Download 01 You Are My All In All

 

Hope you enjoy. Since I don't really know what I'm doing, if there is a better way for me to plug these into my posts, just let me know. I think I'm still capable of learning a new thing or two. :)

 

I think I should apologize for the names of some of these posts. Since I'm working ahead and may not actually be posting them myself, I thought it best to name them in a way that Britt or Ken could easily identify what card goes with each... just in case I don't get around to inserting the pictures in with the text. How's that for planning ahead? :) (However, this is actually me and I am actually doing all the "work" here. Now you just know my plan for the future... Maybe, anyway. I'm kinda learning to hold the future loosely... :) )

So — here's another thank you card. (And if you don't care about the card and then wedding stuff, just scroll down. There's a little more info on today...)

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Well, not much to say about this card. Pretty simple. Simple has usually been my style, but since my hands, brain, and thought-processes don't seem to all be working well together these days — it's probably about the only style you'll be seeing around here from now on! 

AND TELL:  stamps are from Stampin' Up (Hello Doily, So Happy for You); cardstock is Papertrey Ink (Vintage Cream) and SU (Pink Pirouette); vellum cardstock is SU; ink is SU (Pink Pirouette, Basic Gray); brad is from my stash (Basic Gray, I believe). 

 

So here are the final pictures that I took at Britt & Kenneth's wedding reception. (Although I do think I have a few more pictures that have been sent to me that I may try to post.)

I refer to that picture as the triumphant entry. :) Yes, they were pretty happy.

Love that Britt lost the veil and that Kenneth donned his fedora. Now they really look like themselves. :)

The mother-son/father-daughter dance.

And, now, let me explain. We seem to have this thing for conga lines in our family. Well, maybe I should say that some of us in the family are really into them. :)

Usually, Ken is the instigator...

but Britt took over the role on her wedding night. :)

And... she got quite a following...

Like father, like daughter. :)

Hope you don't mind a shorter post today... haha... you're probably cheering. :) (Although, I guess it's not actually all that much shorter after all, since I keep adding more...)

Oh — and one more breaking-news sort of update... we've started the process of preparing for radiation therapy and met with the radiologist this afternoon to have a mask-fitting session. Interesting stuff, I tell you. Actual radiation isn't scheduled to start until next Thursday. It seems like everything takes so long to get going — and that can be pretty disconcerting... the whole waiting around while preparations are made. Please pray for patience and peace of mind for all of us. And, I guess, for time — because it is feeling very short and limited. I, for one, am getting pretty antsy. 

Thank you so much for your continued interest and — mostly — for your prayers. You cannot know how much your prayers, cards, e-mails, blog comments, visits, phone calls, meals, treats... well... how much it all means to us. We feel very loved and want to send all that love back to you... so — love and hugs to each and every one of you!!! (Go and do something nice for yourself in our names! :) )

Doily Thank You

Today is another Wednesday. It's August 17. I think. Funny how the days run together and when you aren't going anywhere or keeping up with appointments yourself... well, it's all a little meaningless.

I didn't sleep well last night and am really feeling that this morning. I'm going out to lunch with friends today and should probably take a nap before then. Here's the problem. When I get tired, I get a little crazy in the head. I start getting fearful and thinking that if I take a nap that I won't wake up as "myself". Kind of like I'll just disappear into some sort of between world. I'll start being incoherent and lose "me". So — if you think of it, you can help me pray against that. I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. I'd sure like to keep that sound mind!

For today... for right now:

Psalm 35:9-10

"...I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be glad because he rescues me. With every bone in my body I will praise him; 'Lord, who can compare with you? Who else rescues the helpless from the strong? Who else protects the helpless and poor from those who rob them?'"

OK — I've had a little 15 minute nap and feel immeasureably better. (Just thought you might want to know... :) ) Now I think I can move on a bit.

So — here are a couple of songs that really have been ministering to me. The first one especially — it's the most played song in my iPod. (I've never added songs to a post before, so I hope this works...) 

Download 12 The More I Seek You 

Download 04 Watch Over Me

And — this morning Satan has been trying to rob me of my peace. Even, I think, through the scriptures that have been sent to me. I haven't really found most of them to be comforting. And I think that's bad to admit. Because I know that scripture is for my benefit and edification. I think it's my current state of mind — it's just all messed up. So — please pray for peace and that I come out from under this attack very soon. I don't like feeling unsettled and almost like I'm no longer under God's covering. :(

... Since I work on my blog posts throughout the day, this may get confusing for you. Especially on a day like today when I'm probably going to jump all over the place in my writing. I've been to lunch with friends now — and what good medicine that is. Even for a non-social person like myself. I need to get out and socialize some... it's just not really natural for me and left to my own devices I'd probably just stay inside and let the computer be my only social outlet. I don't think that's God's design, though, so... thanks to my friends who insist on seeing me and making me do things that I think I would rather not do. :)

Today another stack of cards arrived in the mail. And a prayer blanket from a church in Indiana. And a hand-knit (by one of our weekday school teachers) blanket. It's so extra soft and lovely. I'm so touched by all the love being showered on us. People are so good and so amazing and so thoughtful — and what an honor and privilege it is to be on the receiving end of all that love. May all that love return to you 100-fold! A million-fold!!!

And, now, one more go-back moment... (sorry to be so scattered today...)... back to the scripture. I'm so thankful that God does indeed rescue me. This morning was tough. But sometimes you just have to press on (a favorite phrase of our pastor) and trust and do what you know you need to do. Like praise Him. Exalt Him. Recount His virtues. Magnify His name. And recognize that He is on your side — protecting you from the one who is out to hurt you and steal your joy. Jump into the battle and don't let Satan have a victory over you. Seriously. And, one more thing that I just noticed. Psalm 35:9 says, "...he rescues me"... not he rescued me. God's care and "rescuing" is on-going. He doesn't swoop in and then leave us alone. He stays and continues to rescue. How cool is that? :)

 

OK —  I'm moving on to my crafty stuff now... and then I'll do a few pics from the wedding day. Some of you may want to stop reading and start scrolling. :)

It's been a little hard for me to generate ideas on my own, it seems, so the other day I pulled a PaperCrafts magazine off the shelf (Go-To Sketches from last year) and sought inspiration from its pages. The sketch for this card is on page 16. (Sorry, I don't think the magazine is available for purchase anymore, but perhaps you already have it in your collection...)

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I have this craft room rule... use something new before you put it away. And preferably before you buy anything else new. Sometimes that's a hard rule to live by. But it does force me to use every stamp set at least once. :)

So —  when we got home from the wedding (and surgery) I had a stack of new Stampin' Up stamps that I hadn't had a chance to play with yet. And stamp club was right around the corner... so brain tumor or not... it was time to get to work. This is one of my first attempts. Not too bad, I think. You know, everyone must get a creative block from time to time, so my suggestion would be to pull some inspiration from your computer, from a magazine, from something you've made before... well, from anywhere. Then just get started. Even if it's not your favorite project ever, at least you've done something —  and it may jumpstart your old mojo. 

AND TELL:  stamps are from Stampin' Up (Delicate Doilies, Silhouette Sentiments); cardstock is Papertrey Ink (Vintage Cream, Fine Linen); ink is SU (Pear Pizzazz, Old Olive, Always Artichoke); rhinestones are Kaiser (clear); also used a Corner Chomper.

 

Britt & Kenneth's wedding reception was in a building on Fayetteville Street in Raleigh, just down the street from the State Capitol. And there was a street festival going on — so getting there was a bit of a challenge... especially for someone having some mobility issues (like I was). What saved us?

The fact that Raleigh is full of pedi-cabs (they refer to them as rickshaws). (And that Ken had a pocketful of cash, apparently... :) )

Our driver...

taking us down some side streets so that he could pull us up to the front door...

Yep. That was quite a load, wasn't it? Hope Ken paid him well... :)

Tomorrow I'll show the few (not very good) photos that I have from the reception — but I think you'll get an idea of what a joyous event it was. 

Thank you so much for your attention and for all the prayers. Please be praying as we are making decisions. I know that the opportunity at Duke has good possibilities, but I'm not sure that it's right for me — or that it's right for this time. I feel like time is short and of the essence and am not convinced that it will give me any more time on earth. And waiting an additional two weeks just to have the appointment that would then delay treatment even further... I'm not sure it makes sense. I feel like things inside me are changing quickly and that just getting started may be the best chance for some additional time. It's a lot to consider. So — I guess my prayer would be either that Duke would call NOW and schedule us for NOW... or that the opportunity would evaporate. Or, of course, that the Lord would remove the tumor and that I would be whole — and that He would receive all the glory. :) (The rapture isn't a bad option either... haha!)

Thank you so much for spending a bit of time here with me as I relate my struggles, ask for prayer, share stuff from my life, and a few crafty things, too. I know that all of it couldn't possibly interest everyone of you and I'm so appreciative of the support of all of my online friends and acquaintances (and, of course, of my real-life family and friends, too). You all are the best! Lord willing, I'll be back tomorrow with a brighter outlook and another card. :) Hugs to you! 

Search for peace...

and work to maintain it. (Psalm 34:14b)

Today is Tuesday, August 16. Meet a chemo doctor day.

The snippet of the Psalm that I used above seemed appropriate today. I think I'll give more thoughts on it later in the post. First... how about some more from that passage? Just selections today...

Psalm 34:11-15, 17-19, 22

"Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord. Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

"The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help.... The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

"The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time....

"...the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned."

How the passage spoke to me today...

First of all — I'm not a Bible scholar... I'm no theologian... I'm not the type (at this point anyway) to search the Hebrew or Greek or a gazillion Bible commentaries to find out what the passage "really" means. I'm letting it speak to my heart — and I'm figuring that that is where God wants His word anyway, in my heart. So I'm trusting Him to show me what He wants me to see. And I'm sharing that with you. He may impress something else on you — and that's A-OK. Just put His Word in your heart and let it marinate there. :)

Now — I think, in reading this passage, that when it's talking about maintaining peace it's probably talking about living peacefully with other people. Important, yes. Today, though, I'm applying it to my life by thinking about what it means to search for inner peace and then working to maintain that. Maybe it says it all right there. Search. Work. Actually, this part seems to come fairly easily to me — probably my clueless nature — but I have observed that many people seem to find maintaining peace a difficult thing.

So, for what it's worth, here is what seems to help me. First of all — praying (without ceasing). I think I have breathed prayers throughout the day for so long now that sometimes I'm praying without even realizing that I'm praying. Does that make sense? It's just a part of me. I don't have to "go into my prayer closet" or sit quietly for an hour (both things I love to do but, realistically, don't do all that often). So — if you want to be a better pray-er... practice praying! It's possible. You can do it! And God loves to hear from you. :) By the way, you don't need to "know" any specific prayers. He just wants to have a conversation. You talk, He'll listen. And you'll start hearing from Him, too. Just keep your heart and your spiritual ears open. It will probably come in a very unexpected way or at an unexpected time or through some person or circumstance that blows you away, but I know that God desires to communicate with you on a personal level.

Also, I don't dwell on what I can't change. I try to leave the future in the future — and I don't spend a lot of time there. I know, easier said than done... but God doesn't want you to live in fear of what may or may not happen. He wants to be with you in the here and now, getting you through this day, this situation, this moment. In my moments of anxiety, I just breathe a prayer and focus my mind on God's goodness to me. Reading your Bible and memorizing some scripture will help you do this. When stuff seems to be falling apart, try focusing your mind on God's Word or on His love for you. (I highly recommend the Psalms as a good starting place for this.) 

One last thing that works for me — Christian music, hymns, etc. My iPhone is loaded with some of my favorite songs about Jesus. And when I say loaded... I mean l-o-a-d-e-d. I just looked. I have 200 songs on there. (I don't know, maybe that's not a lot, but it seems like a lot to me...) I also have probably that many songs on CDs that I just haven't transferred over yet. When I was in the hospital for those six days, we would put the music on and let it play all night long. There is nothing like being washed over with music that is reminding you of God's love for you, of the peace that comes from knowing Him, of how He is always there with you... You may find that beneficial, too. And if you'd like suggestions of songs, I'll put together a list (shorter than 200... haha!) of my current favorites. Just let me know.

Well, I think maybe I was kind of long-winded on that part today. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I don't get all this peace on my own or come by it naturally or think that I have some extraordinary line to God or... whatever... I'm just a regular girl trying to live a faithful life. I'm not special. This life — this peace — can be yours, too. You just have to cultivate it. :)

 

Before I get into today's doctor visit, how about some (well, a bunch) more pictures from the wedding day?

There are the girls. Aren't the colors gorgeous? I was never too into purple — and didn't think that Britt was either — but I think she chose the perfect colors for the girls' dresses.

The maid of honor's dress was a little darker than the other two. And each girl chose her own style. I love that trend. So much easier for everyone to get something flattering that they like and will be happy to wear when they get to choose it themselves.

 Not sure what happened to my focus there, but still... didn't the girls all look great in their dresses? 

And how about this flower girl...

Kenneth's niece. Adorable.

One of me with the bride...

I had purchased a gold wrap to wear so that my shoulders would be appropriately covered (at least for the ceremony), but I didn't use it. I took it with me in case I got chilly (haha... it was about 100 degrees and humid as can be) but decided it was too much work for me to keep it straight and looking good so I just kinda carried it around (which, in retrospect, probably looked equally ridiculous... oh, well... haha). I had also purchased a bracelet, earrings, and a gold fabric clutch — that I left at the hotel and didn't think about again until sometime much later in the evening. I wore the bracelet and earrings to church last Sunday so at least they've had one wear. Now I suppose I need to create an occasion to carry a gold clutch purse  (appropriately stocked with lip gloss and tissues). :) 

The original plan was that the pre-wedding photos would be taken outside on the lovely grounds of the St. Mary Chapel, but it started to pour down rain right as we were headed outside — so the photographer ran around and found this gorgeous ballroom upstairs.

Perfect for some wedding portraits.

And how about a couple pics from when the grandmas arrived...

first my mom...

and then Ken's...

came to admire their lovely granddaughter and get lined up to be escorted in for the ceremony. We are so fortunate that both of them were able to be there with us. :)

I think I only have a couple more days worth of wedding-related photos to show you... and as I look back at the pictures I took, they're really not all that good. But you'll have an idea of how the entire event went and what fun we all had.

Oh — about today's visit with the oncologist. I don't have a great need to know lots of details about what the rest of my life may or may not be like... I just kinda take stuff as it comes up and ask questions as I need to. It sounds like the local doctors' course of action is 6 weeks of radiation with (I can't remember the number of doses of) chemotherapy included. Then I guess you take a break and assess. We did hear back from Duke and they've scheduled us for a consultation on August 30. I know that the Charlotte doctors (who also have a national reputation) are eager to get started and are not convinced that the Duke plan of action will be the best... just a different philosophy in the use of a specific chemo drug, from what I can tell. But... I'm not sure that I want to wait until September to get started on anything while there is this insidious thing growing inside my brain. It's a lot to wrap a damaged brain around. :) So — I do really appreciate your prayers for clarity and for peace as we wrestle with this big decision. 

This may be my longest post ever. (Sorry!... :) ) I'll try to be more succinct from now on. Sometimes I've just got a lot to say, I suppose. 

But... tomorrow, I'm going to get back to something crafty. Maybe a card. You OK with that? :)

Thanks so much for stopping by and for sharing a bit of your day with me. I love our visits and the Facebook messages and blog comments really lift my spirits — so thanks for your faithfulness! Looking forward to more time together tomorrow. :)

Lacking no good thing

Monday, August 15. Stitches out day. Meet with a radiologist day.

Today's Living Word. Hope you can stand that I just had to write down the whole passage for you... picking verses was just too hard.

Psalm 34:1-10

"I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt his name together.

"I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing."

Is it no wonder that I love reading my Bible? Who could not find that inspirational and comforting? It may have been a hard day, but — really — I'm lacking no good thing.

This morning the stitches were taken out of my head. No problem there. We were told it looks good, to watch for signs of infection at the incision site, etc. 

This afternoon we visited with a radiologist here in Charlotte and found out what his course of treatment for me would be — 6 weeks of radiation, 5 days a week, to start. Tomorrow we meet with an oncologist. We are still waiting for the appointment at Duke to be scheduled... hopefully that will take place this week, too. Truly, I'm ready to get this show on the road.

We were also told today that what I have is definitely a stage 4 brain tumor. And I don't think that I really have a lot more to say about that right now. Still processing.

But... don't take that to mean that I'm feeling hopeless or sad or angry or... really... anything. Numb? Maybe. But I think I've always been a bit slow at processing big information — so this is really normal for me.

I did have a few tears today. Because people are just so nice. And it's so touching. And I struggle with feeling undeserving of all the attention and "nice-ness". Every day a stack of cards arrives in the mail. Often there are many that were sent by people that I don't actually know — online friends and acquaintances and just really nice, caring people. Today I received a quilt from my friend Kelley Eubanks' church in Tennessee. Made me cry. What a ministry that church has... it touched me in a way that I couldn't have predicted. 

Then there are the meals that arrive at regular intervals — even breakfasts. We are definitely eating well and having really healthy (and tasty!) balanced meals. We're so appreciative and humbled. And the notes from preschool student parents — well, all the notes that we've received from friends, relatives, inlaws, former preschool families, neighbors, acquaintances, preschooler artwork, photographs, flowers, gift cards, just gifts in general... gosh... it's overwhelming. And I've kept horrible records. So I know that there is no way I'll be be able to acknowledge our appreciation over every expression of love that we've received. And I feel badly about that. I will just have to do what I can and hope that everyone does truly know how really, really appreciative we are for everything!

So — here's a picture of the cards and drawings that Britt put up last Friday. I should've included all the flowers, too.

 Now we have another stack of cards and drawings waiting for Britt to return to Charlotte and display for us. :)

 

Well, I think that's enough of all that... and instead of sharing a craft project with you today, well, how about some more photos from the day of the wedding.

 Here Britt is explaining her dress's bustling mechanism to her bridesmaids.

And this next picture reminds me of the scene in the animated Disney verion of Cinderella where all the little birds are helping to get Cinderella ready for the ball. :)

Here's another cute one of the getting ready process...

Love the way little Jesse is helping to keep her soon-to-be aunt balanced. And I love that Britt wore purple shoes. Such a pretty punch of color. And very much her.

Yeah, she was pretty happy that day. :)

This post is long enough, I think, so tomorrow I'll be back with a few more wedding pictures. More scripture and spiritual insights (I hope). More medical information. And, hopefully, something crafty. Because I do like my crafts. :)

Thanks so much for the visit, the prayers, and for hanging in there through all my ramblings. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more focused. :) Hope to see you then.

Rely on His Unfailing Love

Today is Sunday. Sunday, August 14. The day before the round of doctor appointments and consults and all that sort of stuff begins. My last day of blissful ignorance, I suppose.

So — here is a portion of the Psalm that I read this morning.

Psalm 33:18-22

"But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine. We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone."

Could it be any more appropriate? Oh, how I love opening the Word and seeing what it has to say to me each and every day. Of course, I say that... but it's not like it's always been that way... or even (and I hate to say this) that it always will be. We humans are so fickle. We run hot and cold. We get distracted by problems, by joys, or just by ordinary life. Grrrr. Sometimes I get so frustrated with my human-ness. But — here's what I'm thinking. God made me. He knows me top to bottom and inside and out. And I'll keep persevering and pressing on as best I can. Sometimes I'll get it right. And I'll always be thankful that He is so patient and loving and kind. And that He is always there... ready and willing to soothe and comfort me — and sometimes even carry me. What a great God!

So — as I mentioned, this week we will start finding out a little more about what is going on with me medically. I think God blessed me with just the right personality for a time like this. I don't like to look too far into the future — and really am quite successful at not doing so. My philosophy is kind of... if I can't change it or do anything about it, why worry about it? (I know, head in the sand...) But, I guess that tomorrow I'll at least have to begin to wrap my crazy brain around the options and possibilities. Doesn't sound fun. Thanks so much for keeping us in your prayers. 

 

Now, I thought maybe I'd show you one of my pre-wedding projects. I like that a wedding brings two families together, ideally blending them into a unit that will be there to support and encourage the new couple as they begin their life together. So — I wanted to recognize the joining of the Hayes and Freeman families in a visual way... with photographs.

SHOW

We ordered a large print of one of Britt & Kenneth's engagement photos and then I procured 5x7s of the parents and 4x6s of each set of grandparents.

I didn't want to spend a bundle of money on getting the photos framed, so my mom and I went to Garden Ridge, purchased an assortment of appropriately sized frames, and then I got to work.

After removing the glass and the back (or covering the back with paper), I primed...

and started layering on the spray paint...

coat...

by coat...

by coat. When they were a nice, solid creamy color they were ready to be moved inside, filled with the photos, bubble-wrapped, and set aside for the car trip to Raleigh.

AND TELL:  OK... just trying to stay with the usual format here... but I don't have all my information upstairs where I'm working so, basically, I went to Lowe's Home Improvement Store... bought some spray primer and some creamy-colored high-gloss spray paint and sprayed away. :)

 

And here is how the display looked during the reception.

The extra-wide window sills were the perfect display space — and we were fortunate that they allowed candles, too, which made the whole vignette a nice little side-trip for those who attended the wedding. And I hope that it also got across a subtle message about the value of dedicated, long-term marriages. Marriages are worth saving!

Now I'm trying to decide how many more days I'm going to draw out this whole pictures from the wedding thing. I'm a bit of a torturer, aren't I?

Well, I think I'll give you a few more of the getting ready process now. 

The venue had a nice room that the maid of honor made even nicer by moving the furniture around

so it made the whole getting dressed process comfortable...

and kind of decorated.

She even attractively displayed the girls' belongings so that when the photographer arrived everything would look photo-ready.

In case you're wondering about the bags, we ordered them from Baggu so that as the bride and bridesmaids changed their clothes they each had a place to put what they were discarding. Each bag was a different shade or color so they were easily identifiable (plus we attached the tags I made with their first initial on them to help...). Baggu also makes smaller bags, so the flower girl had her own little bag... just like the big girls.

And since there are maybe one or two of you out there who would like a closer look at the flowers...

Quite lovely, right?

And that is probably more than enough for today. If you're still hanging in there with me, thanks so much for the visit. I appreciate the contact with you more than you know! 

enjoy every moment

Today is Saturday. Saturday, August 13. And today is Stamp Club. Above is a preview. But first... here's a brief scripture passage for today.

Psalm 33:4-5

"For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth."

Love those verses. Some people seem to be amazed at how I'm dealing with this unexpected complication in my life. I've decided that God blessed me with a personality that doesn't look into the future — and one that certainly doesn't worry about what may or may not happen. I've always been kind of a take-it-as-it-comes sort of person. (Some may say a head-in-the-sand type...) But — if I truly believe that God knows what's best for me, that He knows what I can and cannot handle, that He wants to use me for His glory... well, who am I to argue? I'll take things as they come. And I'll trust everything He does. (OK — I'll admit that doesn't mean I'll always be happy and LIKE everything... but I will take it as it comes... and pray a lot! And — if you stay tuned in here... I'm sure you'll get to see some, hopefully, minor falling apart at some time...) I think it's all about faith and trusting in His goodness. That's what I choose.

 

OK — on to my crafty pursuits. I made these cards the day after coming home from the hospital, I think. Since stamp club was coming up, I thought that I could at least get my cards made... whether I was going to be going to the club meeting or not.

The theme for this meeting is "Christmas" — and I know that these are not super Christmas-y, but I think they could work. Since the stamp club I'm a member of is sponsored by a Stampin' Up demonstrator, I feel like it's important to delve into my SU supplies for my club cards. But since I was fresh out of the hospital, had anesthesia-brain, little stamina and almost zero creativity — I grabbed the two brand-new stamp pads that were on top of my work surface, the first stamp set my hands pulled out of the drawer, and just sort of made it work.

SHOW

Using an embossing folder to frame out the front of the card really helped, I think.

As usual, I signed the back of my card for stamp club. I wish I remembered to do this all the time. (Although my fine-motor skills have deteriorated greatly... and I'm learning how much of my identity I had wrapped up in my handwriting... and how much pride I had in it, too...)

AND TELL:  stamps are from Stampin' Up (Enjoy Every Moment); cardstock is Papertrey Ink (Stampers Select White); ink is SU (Pear Pizzazz, Poppy Parade); buttons are PTI (Simply Chartreuse); also used SU's Framed Tulips embossing folder.

I'm still not going to give you what you're really waiting for (pictures from the wedding), because I thought you might like to see a few pictures of the salon where Britt & I got our hair done before the wedding. It was just so unique and visually fun.

From the chandeliers and wire birds suspended from the ceiling...

to the white stag on the orange wall and the green and yellow spray painted candlesticks on shelves below...

and the salon dog lounging on the upholstered chair... well, just a fun place that my artsy soul responded to. :)

Britt had her hair done the week before and took pictures of it. So the day of this appointment she took her iPad and set it up so they would remember what had been done previously.

And here she is...

coifed and waiting.

You know how nothing can always go perfectly? We were all having mental lapses at that time and forgot to have the hairdresser insert the rhinestone hairpins that we had purchased specifically for the wedding day — so she'd have a bit of sparkle when the veil came off later. Quite a disappointment when we realized it, but we lacked the confidence that we could get them in to stay without ruining the hairstyle... so, well, whatever. One of those things that you know, but no one else will ever notice. 

Now, before I end for this post, I do have a big prayer request.

We've sought other opinions on my diagnosis and treatment plan (which we don't even really know yet, other than radiation and chemo). Today we received a message from a surgical team at Duke University that indicates that they think the tumor is operable and that no other treatment would then be warranted. At least that's what we think the message said. So — of course, we have a lot of questions that we won't be able to have answered until sometime next week, but it adds a little more uncertainty into my life. And decisions. Uncertainty and decisions are not my specialties. Remember, me? I'm the one who kind of likes to float through life from one thing to the next. So — please be in prayer for us as we hear other opinions and make important decisions in the coming week or so. Kinda puts my stomach in a knot and sets my head to achin' (which is probably why I prefer blissful ignorance). Thank you so much for your love for us and for your prayer support. We'll keep you posted as we learn more.

Now — go and enjoy the rest of your day. I'm posting early and heading out for stamp club. :) Thanks for the visit, the prayers, and — well... for everything! Hugs to you... 

 

Merci

Today is Friday, August 12

Here are the verses that spoke to me this morning:

1 Corinthians 7:29-31

"But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters:  The time that remains is very short.... Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away."

Kind of puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Before I continue (sometimes it's just best to let scripture seep into your heart, so I decided not to expound on it today... :) ), I want to just say that I have been gently chastised (thank you, dear blog readers!) and am over saying crazy things about not deserving attention, blah, blah, blah. Every person deserves love and attention and I'm so very thankful for every prayer and other little bit of attention that our family has been receiving. Being in the spotlight is not a comfortable place for little ol' introverted me, but I'm now going to accept the position that the Lord has put me in as gracefully as possible and MOVE ON! 

 

At Britt's encouragement, I decided to try a cardmaking challenge. The first one I came to when scrolling through my backlogged Google Reader, was Card Patterns Sketch 127. So, that became my target. Took all yesterday afternoon, but I did come up with a card.

 

 

SHOW

Not perfect, but not bad for a first foray back into the world of creativity. Smart girl, that Britt, encouraging me to do a sketch challenge. :)

AND TELL:  stamp is from Papertrey Ink (Think Big Favorites #3); cardstock is PTI (Stampers Select White); patterned paper is PTI (Bitty Box Basics), Bo Bunny (Abbey Road Sky), Cosmo Cricket (Material Girl line); ink is Stampin' Up (Melon Mambo); doily is Martha Stewart; flowers are Prima (Fairytale Roses); rub-ons are Heather Bailey; rhinestones are from my stash.

I know that some of you have been waiting for photos from the wedding festivities and I'm starting to get there. I just have this need to do things pretty much in sequential order... that's one reason you've been having to wait for so long. (Yes, I'm an interesting mix of OCD and "oh, whatever"... :) )

So, the morning of the wedding, Ken & I went over to the reception site to see how the set-up was progressing.

Not so much going on there, but how's it looking here?

And now?

The reception was held in the ballroom of the Sir Walter Apartments (formerly THE hotel for movers-and-shakers in downtown Raleigh, just a couple blocks from the Capitol). Now it is subsidized housing for senior citizens, but their gorgeous, kinda kitschy, ballroom was available for a great price and was the perfect location for Britt & Kenneth's event. We couldn't use the lobby area in the picture below, but I thought you might like to see it.

The windows of the ballroom have really deep window sills...

which we used as a display area for family photos (I'll show you that another day), but we also used them as perching areas for additional seating. Britt was not interested in having an event with placecards. She wanted people mingling, dancing, and having fun — not just sitting in their "assigned seats".

One more set-up thing to show you — when we went to the Sir Walter, Kenneth's parents and aunt & uncle were there sprucing up the bathrooms.

They were really doing a bang-up job!

Anything you might need.

I had no idea that they were planning to do this and it was such a sweet and thoughtful touch. It elevated the dingy, institutional restrooms to practically starring roles. And, unfortunately I didn't get pictures of this part, Britt had cut profile silhouettes — one of each of them — and they were being mounted on the restroom doors... Kenneth's for the men's room... hers for the ladies room. Super cute idea, huh?

Tomorrow is the monthly stamp club meeting that I attend, so I'm hoping to go — head-full of stitches and all. I made my cards earlier in the week, so I'll plan to post those tomorrow, too. Along with more getting-ready-for-the-wedding photos. :)

Thanks so much for spending a bit of your time here with me. I love your visits and relish your words of encouragement. Hugs to you!